polyglot conspiracy

Just back from Sociolinguistics Symposium 17 in Amsterdam, jetlagged, just in time for finals! The conference was interesting and fun, and it was really good to see some of my linguafriends there. English is everywhere in Amsterdam, of course, and at the opening reception for the conference the Mayor of the city gave a welcome speech in which he referred to the “Nether-English” being created from the use of English in the Netherlands (it was his way of “connecting” to us, I suppose). He did not give specifics, but I had never heard this term before (though am not surprised that it’s a concept that’s out there, though perhaps “Netherlish” would be more like the names of other world Englishes?). There are a few hits on the web out there, but nothing like a Wikipedia entry or page devoted to information about Nether-English, that I can find. If you know anything about this let me know. [Also, doesn't "Nether-English" also sound like it's English that doesn't really exist, or exists in a parallel dimension?]

So perhaps an example of Nether-English is to be found in the Visitors’ Attraction guide book we were given upon arrival, which gives some hints about the Red Light District. My favorite is:

If you choose to visit one of the women, we would like to remind you, they are not always women.

Though not perhaps the most Nether- of the English in that particular book, it does have a certain alter-stylistic property to it that sounds very odd to my American English ears. It also reminds me of a discussion had between me and some Brits, in which I was asked:

Brit: Do Americans call muffins muffins?
Me: Um…if you are referring to what I call muffins, then yes, we call them muffins. If you are referring to something other than what I call muffins, I do not know what you are referring to, and so I do not know what I call it!

Women aren’t always women and muffins aren’t always muffins…let’s call the whole thing off!